Thursday, May 5, 2011

First Samples - Essay

2. Essay (120-180 Words)
You have recently had a discussion in your English class about places to live. Now your
teacher has asked you to write an essay, giving your opinion on the following statement.

Whatever your age, life in the country is always better than life in the city.

There's a lot of opinions about where life is better but in my opinion, the advantages are more ^ than the disadvantages ifü you live in the city.
In the cities there're more options that you can choose. The important building are usually in the center, where everybody can arrive. There are also more activities, what is moreü, if you are a teenager the city is more amazingü, because it's bigger, there's more party, but if you're an adult it can also be better, because your office will probably be there. (Adults don’t go to parties then? Hmmmm!)

On the other handü the city is sometimes stressfulüü, because there's a lot of noise, traffic jamsüü and people.There's another problemüü which is if you're coming from the country, you will think life is very copmplicatedüü in the city, and you won't probably wo like it.Living in the city it is not a good idea for ancientv people.PeopleR in the countries are normally more friendly, so while they're having a rest, they can be talking with another people who maybe will be more relaxed than people in city [m1] . Another pointü is that they have the bassic services in the country-side[m2].
To sum upü I would choose living in the city, because i think it is more enjoyableü, whereas i could maybe feel bored in the country.I also think if you're studingSP a careerV you should live in the city, because ^is the place where you will have more opportunities. ü

Comments (Highlight to read)
8/10 Very good – lots of good “effort” vocab – a few things to work on to get towards 10 - if you want it, it’s doable!

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[m1]An odd sentence this.
[m2]Needs more explanation.- DO you mean “they ONLY have basic services, so…”?


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2 comments:

  1. It is a good idea to break down the sample work in order to illustrate what are the good points and the one that have to be rewritten.

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